ikea

Dear IKEA. Thank you for making me never want to have children.
Large Stores+Saturday afternoon+ screaming kids= No Bueno.

driving with the new "mom"

As resources become sparse, petrol is limited and will eventually become short in supply, I always assumed that renting a new car would demonstrate all the innovations in car manufacturing. I was ready for a V-4 sedan that would have exceptional miles per gallon, and basically nothing else.
Isn’t that what the future should hold for us? Cutting out the unnecessary extravagants in automobiles and focusing on the bare minimum- getting us from A to B with the least damage to our surroundings during the process.
Well, I was put back in my place when the car I rented was a V-6 engine, had the pickup power of a motorcycle (which come on, who needs that? Does it really matter that it takes me 20 seconds to get to 60 miles per hour instead of 10?) and had a built in “mom”.
Some of you may wonder…what exactly is this thing called a built in “mom”? Well, I can proudly say that I’ve patented the name “mom” for my cars functionalities.

So let’s start our trip and see how my car does everything in it’s power to annoy me, cause distraction, and become the nagging mother you always tried to leave out of the front seat.
(Note- I’m not referring to MY mother when I speak of this bothersome, nagging mom. My mom actually rocks. However, she still has her backseat driver moments as all moms do…)

My trip consists of a 5 hour drive on the Albany Hwy to Southwest Australia…to…you guessed it...Albany.
I’m not one for rest-stops and freshening up. Get me down there. The way I see it is if I’m not tired and I don’t need to pee, than I don’t want to stop. 2 hours into my trip I hear this awful beeping noise coming from my dashboard. What in &#% is that sound? A bit distracting when I’m approaching speeds of 70mph on a country highway. Rather than watching for dodging kangaroos, I’m searching for an obscure beep on my car. Could my car be breaking down? Is it telling me something bad?
No. Of course not. The icon that is flashing on my dashboard is of a mug with heat coming off. Apparantly the car is trying to tell me to drink coffee. Obviously I need caffeine because I’ve been driving for 2 hours. Oh really? Because I’m fairly certain I stare at a computer for over ½ my day, everyday at work which is far less exciting. I don’t need a coffee to keep me alive for this task, although it provides a nice distraction…like insant coffee doesn’t provide that excitement to everyone in the world.
The makers of my car wanted to make sure you’re safe on the road. I guess that’s not so horrible. Except the sound and flashing mug will not disappear until you pull over. Now…a recommendation to drink coffee is one thing, but to force you to pull over because you want to smash your dashboard due to an annoying sound? That’s just wrong. Let me drive jerk.

So mom has spoken and told me that I am unable to drive for more than 2 hours. I always thought that turning 25 last year was great because despite the sadness of being a quarter century, the one good thing is that I can rent a car. What no one mentions is that renting a car isn’t so fun when mom is sitting on your dashboard telling you to get coffee.

So I get a coffee. It’s a crappy instant coffee and I’m fairly annoyed of the effort I’ve made.
And I continue driving….
Of course, the coffee goes through my in about 5 minutes and I have ages til I reach another rest station. My reaction is to speed. Not a lot. The speed limit is 110 km and I decide to go 120kmph (only 6milesperhour above). Except as soon as I reach 115 my car starts beeping again. But not the same beep as before. This beep is much more incessant. I look down and of course, there is a big flashing light in bright red letters that says SPEED. You gotta be kidding me. I thought speeding was at the risk of the driver? That’s my choice to drive above a stated limit. If I get- caught, fine me. If I don’t, tough. Since when does your CAR assess this? I spend the next 5 minutes of my drive trying to figure out if there is an automatic sensor that knows the speed limit, or if the car manufacturer has decided that 115kmph is the max they want you to drive. Too bad the car goes up to 240kmph. Maybe instead of limiting my speed with a beeping red light, they should just decrease the maximum speed capacity? Then I don’t any better that the car manufacturer is trying to control my life.

And this whole time…the little mom at the dashboard is chuckling because she has you under her watchful eye. Not only can’t you drive more than 2 hours collectively, but now you can’t speed. While GM declares bankruptcy, car sales are at an all time slump....I can't help but think that maybe people stopped buying cars because they're pissed off with the new built in mom. I'll stick with my bike for now.

I haven't updated my blog in over 3 months. In fact, when I checked it today, I actually realized that I haven't written anything worthwhile in about a year. Mostly run-on crap about nothing at all. I think I'm ready to write again.

Maybe that's because I just returned from a haircut that was the worst experience of my life. I hand a picture of my hair 4 months ago. I tell him that the length in the photo is what I want. Don't take off practically anything in the front. Slant it. I have curly hair. Hence it curls up a lot. That's it. oh, and i hate people cutting my hair.
$40 and 8 minutes later, I have no hair. he chopped the whole damn thing off. There is no slant. There is no nothing. Who is this man who doesn't listen to me or follow my picture?
No friend of mine.

Baby Snakes and Legless Lizards

I've been doing a fair amount of gardening in Perth. My clean, tidy hands (with black nail polish, of course) have slowly integrated the "brown thumb". No, not green thumb. For anyone who has ever stuck their hands into the ground, they come up brown, regardless of negative connotations that may be associated with the "brown thumb" name.

While working in the garden recently, I was surprised to pull out a plant and see a small, baby snake wiggle through the dirt. It was only the size of a big worm and although initially it gave me a little shock, I became quite enamored by it.

30 minutes later: As I continued digging, another little snake popped up. Hmm. I didn't mind the first one, but two? It's mouth was the size of my baby-toe nail so I still wasn't too worried. But soon enough, baby-snake 3 rolled by.

At this point, the only thing going through my mind was "If there are all these baby snakes slithering around...mama snake is more than likely close by. And I don't want to have a surprise greeting".
I reluctantly finished the day off, but was incredibly cautious and I'll admit, a little nervous.

A few days ago, I was chatting with a City Farm fellow, Amanda. Amanda is the brown thumb enthusiast, with years of experience living on a permaculture farm. She's the guru of gardens (and makes a mean vego dinner). During conversation, my baby-snake experience came up and she started laughing. The laughing got louder and annoying to me. She then managed to squeeze out between chuckles that what I saw was a LEGLESS LIZARD, not a snake!

Do these things really exist? To find out, I consulted the next intelligent thing that was filled with information. Google. And what does google tell me? Well, legless lizards are a large family of "Snake-like lizards". Hm. Maybe someone should have mentioned this to me? Although, why this topic would come up in conversation is beyond me.

My google search told me the following:

" A combination of 2 of the following confirms it is a lizard:

1 - Broad, fleshy tongue
2 - Ear-opening behind eye
3 - Two or more rows of belly scales
4 - Tail as long as to much longer than body
5 - If uniform body pattern present, then longitudinal (stripes versus crossbands in Oz snakes. "

Now, I'd like to comment on these "confirmations". When one comes across a legless lizard while gardening, (not to mention one that is the size of a large worm), am I really going to crouch down and examine its Broad, Fleshy Tongue? Or how about I turn it over and pin it down to see how many rows of belly scales it has. Please.

As I continued reading my google search, I came across the following pictures and descriptions. This one seemed to match my case. Next time I see one, I will examine its minuscule tongue and scale fixation.


Southwest Sandplain Worm Lizard (Aprasia repens) Northam, WA
A common burrowing legless lizard dug up in gardens in Perth.

Melbourne, AFL grand final

When Jeremy mentioned heading to Melbourne to watch the AFL (aussie rules fooball) grand-final, I agreed with little hesitation. When living and traveling in a different country, it's always important to attend the biggest sporting games that represent the nation. In this case, Australian Rules Footy has taken the lead. A rough, grueling game that combines tactics of American gridlock football, soccer, and rugby all in one. There are no body-pads or helmets, full tackles and bodies smashing against each other are common occurrences. As are knock-outs and concussions.

I recall watching an AFL video jeremy had sent over before I came to Australia to give me a briefing of the sport that he participates in. Lauren and I sat on her couch with our jaws dropped in awe and shameless amazement.

It's taken me some time to get used to the sport, but now I have a full understanding, can make sense of the rules, and although I don't have a team that I root for, may enjoy an odd Saturday afternoon game.

So the chance to attend the mecca of aussie sports is too good of an opportunity to pass. As jeremy has some big-shot friends in the industry, he secures our tickets and we head to Melbourne for the big game.

My expectations are somewhat limited. Its hard to get toooo excited for a sporting event when I would be a little more stoked in reality if I was seeing the NY Giants or Yankees play. But I also didn't know what to expect.

The stadium had over 100,000 raging fans. As we find our section, the buzz of excitement begins to flourish as I see we are on the Lower Stands- meaning, really close to the field. We continue walking....and stop 6 rows up from the field. unbelievable! I immediately change my thoughts and suddenly feel thrilled to be part of the action. Next to the center of all the action, I'm stoked to be there. There's no way I could get us 6th row tickets to a yankees game.
The 2 teams playing are both Melbourne teams which means its a local "superbowl". I choose the underdog, Hawthorne because a week before the Grand Final I decide that I have formed an affinity for their aboriginal, dredlock-bearing player with an attitude- Chance Bateman. He's a mean little player who you can always catch on the edge of the TV screen pushing someones face into the grass- probably not the most liked guy, but I like him.

As our seats are sooo good, I get to watch him warm up as he runs the sidelines. woo!
The game is an incredible match of talent. Close til the last 15 minutes, there was rarely a dull moment, and my team was victorious. As the aussie equivelant of the SuperBowl- not too shabby :-) Thanks Jeremy for having friends in high places

SupaGolf

4 Clubs. 1 Cart. 1 Oversized Golf Ball, the ultimate cross of mini-golf and conventional 18 hole golf. This is supa-golf. For those who don't have the patience of a full golf game, or those who struggle with the multitude of clubs and losing their small Titleist golf ball, this is the game for you.

One mini cart with 4 oversized golf clubs- a Driver, putter, wedge and some other club to hit in from the fairway. The course still remains difficult being quite narrow and having obstructions and natural obstacles at every angle, however a 9 hole game is much more enjoyable. And you can bring beer.
Why this concept hasn't spread and become widestream for those who lack patience, like myself.

wildflowers

Western Australia is renowned for the beautiful wildflowers that poke their heads up come the turn of seasons. Now that spring is in bloom , so are the flowers.
Men of the Trees, the parent organization to City Farm, whom, yep, plant trees decided to give something back to the volunteers of the 5 branches and take them 2 hours north in the bush to walk around and view the blossoming.

I was invited through City Farm. I was quite honored to attend and was looking forward to seeing a bunch of flowers whose identities I had no clue. This reminded me a lot of when mom and I have gone bird-watching in Belize, Peru, Bolivia or wherever. Although mom is a big advocate of bird watching and has a strong appreciation of it (probably more of an appreciation than I do), in all honesty, we have no idea what we are looking at. I recall many episodes of us gasping because we were so excited we found a bird on our own without the assistance of our guide, only to be snubbed off by the others who quickly labeled it a "trash bird".

I was quite certain that my wildflower walk would be a similar experience- me marvelling over something that is a pesty weed and the others scoffing me off. Oh well. I suppose in all fairness if I enjoy looking at weeds than the trip would still be worth it.

I knew I was in for a treat when I arrived at Men of the Trees at 8am and of the 100 people going, 92 were over the age of 73. Now, for grandparents of mine who may read this- I in NO way have a problem hanging out with the older generation. However, I do find it humorous to spend 10 hours with 92 of them.

As the trip was obviously catered towards an older crowd, there ended up being more riding in the bus than walking, but it was still wonderful. I even was able to spot a few tiny orchids on my own, which impressed the older fellas I was walking with.

The only downside was the bus-ride home. They handed out these song books for our 2 hour ride which initially I thought "oh, how cute, it's like being at camp again!". Until the singing began. Then I regretted that I didn't bring my ipod and had to endure the falsetto voices that are like those people at temple/church who insist at singing 2 notches louder than everyone else (usually female), whose voices aren't totally pleasant to listen to, and the songs that no one really knows beyond the first two lines, EXCEPT the lady with the loud voice. She ain't no Lenny Feld on Rosh Hashana, which is lovely to listen to. She's ol gram's who won't be quiet.

Overall, it was a lovely trip. Unfortunately my replacement camera that I purchased in Mexico during my last travels is a piece of .... and takes mediocre shots. I was forced to take close up shots which I actually really like, now that I look back on them.
Don't get too excited- I can't tell you what they are. In fact, they're probably weeds, but I like em.

worm farms

I've received some recent criticism for the lack of upkeep on my blog. To my excuse, you know when you agree to do something and than immediately regret your generosity and look back at the situation and reflect that you were conned and manipulated (but always in a strategic, subconscious method, and usually by someone with good intentions)? Well, I have been manipulated into giving much of my precious free time to the cause of education.

Recently I've been asked to participate in a number of events and head a table with some sort of demonstration for City Farm and Men of the Trees. This usually consists of Worm Farming and Worm Juice.
Today, I had no idea where I was going and what kind of event (or in today's case- galaxy) was happening.
Arms stacked full of styrefoam containers and some information sheets, I cautiously approached this market of mayhem cursing under my breath why I agreed to waste a Sunday. Teenagers, Kids, young-aged people began to swarm the space around me. Stylish clothes, bright colors of hair and a multitude of body-piercings were insight at every angle. 13 year olds, skateboards in hand, or under foot ran past me nearly causing me to drop my precious box of worms. Ugh, I'm only 25...how I am so sick of teenagers already? But it's true, my passion for working with youth is diminishing by the second (that may be a major exaggeration for the sake of this story...i still like working with them).
The neighboring city to Perth, the "shire" (yes Shire, but there are no hobbits- at least...none that I can see...yet) of Swan Valley decided to hold this major festival/event for kids. The Shire carpark was turned into a mass of head-banging teen-bands, food, and stalls...like mine.

Our stall may not have been what the majority of 15 year old girls want to do. I have a big box of worms and I teach you the basics and general concepts of building a Worm Farm, and gathering...oh yes, you guessed it... WORM JUICE! I know I know, this all sounds so fascinating and your jumping out of your seat at the computer stand wanting to know more. Well, I'll leave the suspense and suggest you check it out on google, because I can't be #$%@# with talking about it anymore :-)

I do like my little creepy-crawler friends. I've actually become quite fond of them and digging my hand into compost and who-knows-what to grab some yummy worms to show off to the kids.

This is why I have been unable to upkeep my blog. I have been giving worm-farm demonstrations. And I have been searching for a bike- which didn't work so I've decided to keep my old one.

So for the few of you who may be wondering what I've been doing in the past 6 weeks since my last email/blog update...I can tell you- I've been saving the world. At least, thats what Gangashwar, one of our older volunteers on Saturday tells me I'm destined to do. So I decided that I didn't have to wait, I can consider my every day actions fulfilling that destiny. hehe

Moves to the Dark Side...in a pretty pink way

Have mom and dad become the poster child of the Boston Redsox?

This picture has made me question what my Bronx and Long-Island bred folks have been upto these days... or maybe...just maybe, looking at this optimistically, they were featured on a Boston Tourism magazine, hence holding the "Bostonian" news and sporting the hats of the "devil" team.
Guys, I still love you, but have you really turned to the "dark side" since I've been gone?!

creating a forest one tree at a time

In 10 years time if you find yourself in a little town called Beverly, 90 minutes East of Perth, on an old farm surrounded by the growth of a new beautiful forest- you can think of me, and thank me in your blessings.

This past weekend, I helped create a small forest. I planted 25,000 trees on an old farm with several other volunteers. It was probably the most satisfying, fulfilling, and hard-earned job I have ever done in my life, and I've never felt so good after a hard-day's work.

6 dedicated souls spent two days on Mic's farm which he recently bought. He has no plans on continuing farm work after living the life on a mango plantation for many years. He has a few sheep, but handed them over to his neighbor so he could revamp his open land. Mic told us that he wanted the birds to come back, and with all this land and property, he wanted a forest.

So Men of The Trees came in to help. Men of the Trees, or MOTT is actually the parent branch to City Farm, who currently employs me. Mott is another amaaazing organisation whose purpose is...well, yea, take a guess- to plant trees in an effort to offset your carbon emissions.
Mott plants about 800,000 trees each year- incredible right?

I got a last minute call from "purple Jazi", a friend from City Farm to see if I had Sunday and Monday free to go out to a farm and do some planting. After some quick rearranging ( I was supposed to do some gardening on Monday at a ladies house), I made some food to take up with me and threw a bag together.
We arrived early Sunday morning and some of the other volunteers had already started. Mic did a fantastic job of prepping the land and all you could see was lines marked out in every direction where trees would soon be planted.

With my "tree basket" around my hip, and potti-puttki in arm, I went to work. The Potti-Puttki (not sure if I spelled that correctly) is the coolest little gadget. Its this big metal pipe/shovel looking thing that you jab into the ground, step on a lever to open the bottom shovel, and drop a plant through the top pipe and there it goes.
This may sound really easy and not too labor intensive. Well, my initial thoughts were similar. However, carrying 150 small plants at your waist bucket and repeatedly shoving the potti-puttki into the ground...it takes a toll on your shoulder and arm.
By sunset on Sunday we were ready to call it an evening- watched the gorgeous sunset slowly descend into the Perth coastline, took a minute to relish in the fact that you couldn't here any vehicles or noise as far as your ears could reach, and prepared dinner.

Since there were only 4 of us staying through Monday, Mic kindly offered us the use of his shed and facilities for our overnight stay. We cooked up a mean veggie meal on a blazzzing fire, through some extra mattresses onto the ground, and cozied up for the evening.
I spent the majority of the evening talking to Robert, an older retired fella who is adamant about "getting the trees into the ground". Robert used to be a miner and is a brilliant guy. He explained to me the history of James Cook, the British explorer who accidently found Australia 200 odd years ago. Cook wasn't actually on an expedition and searching for new land. He had been sent out to observe the transit of Venus. Cook didn't succeed in this, but did find Australia instead. Weigh the options. However, interesting factoid on Venus: Venus passes between the Earth and Sun every 121 years. The next date of this occurrence will be in 2012, the same year the Mayan Calender ends.

Moving on. Robert was a cool old man. I really liked him. He has fascinations with the construction and building of ancient temples and pyramids. He wonders who the mathematician and architects where that built the pyramids, mayan ruins and Petras' temple and how they were able to be so exact and precise with measurements and with lining up angles with the solstices and shadows that would be drawn on exact specific times throughout the year. I think I liked Robert so much because I think about these things too :-)
Anyways, Robert kept saying that although he'd like to travel more, it's most important to "get these trees into the ground now". He must have said that at least 30 times in 2 days. He's really passionate.

Monday was a tough day. We woke up at sunrise and got working right past 7am. We had a lot to cover and there were only 5 of us, compared to 12 volunteers on Sunday.
We worked miraculously efficient together and every hour, would look at another rolling hill that in 10 years time would be a small forest in growth.

It was a good 2 days. I planted trees for all of my friends, Lots for my family, and some other people that I thought were in need of a tree in their name.

So take a deep breath and enjoy that good oxygen you're breathing in today.